#in my defense...
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chat I fucked up!
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It’s simple. I get into an anime. I watch the musical adaptation. I see the highly underrated autism×autism rarepair interact. I go a little feral. This may happen again.
#gerpan#todoiida#in my defense...#...just look at them#hetamyu#i still don't know if there's an official tag to use for the bnha musical??? help???#i was already on my way to shipping todoiida when i watched the bnha stageplay#but hetamyu is definitely what got me to gerpan#will i someday become this fandom's primary source of todoiida like i was for gerpan???#...not unless I suddenly lose interest in erasermic so don't get your hopes up#also i have a gerpan ask i need to answer. nobody let me forget that#betcha thot you'd seen the last of me in the gerpan and hetamyu tags!#you thought wrong!!!#i can't wait till i get my hands on the fantastic world and can tell you all about yusuke's return!
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When you are making something and you look at the clock - oh, it's 9pm, I've got time
begins to build something - oh yeah it's all coming together
When you finally notice the time again - uhh, when was it 1am?
#whoops#in my defense...#i was colouring an Exodus character and got lost in the details#like... its fine right?#ramble corner with major
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brainrot so bad ive thumbnailed a nine page comic of a silly warrior cats au thing
#in my defense...#i have like two comics planned and i need to actually figure out how to do comics#anyways...#life on mars#im not doing all the fucking tags#i have four engineering papers to do by tuesday#a physics homework and a maths homework and a write up on experimental procedure to do#and here i am drawing#owen rambles
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Based on my conversation with @thedragonqueen1998
Me right now:

#in my defense...#i've been feeling sick since i got drenched last weekend XD#i cannot be held liable to my brain's processing power atm
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i borrowed a dvd from the uni library last semester and didnt return it before they closed for the year, so it became overdue
one of the librarians has just 'reborrowed' it in my name so thats its not due until uni starts up again
i suspect its so they stop getting notifications about it
#friendly of them#in my defense...#i have very little defense i procrastinated watching it and then the uni closed for xmas
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the curse of summer is buying and eating an inadvisable amount of fruit in single sittings.
#listen in my defense i bought 4 peaches and they are going to get oversoft in 2 days and i only ate two of them rn#that's discipline! that's control!#........#i will probably end up eating the other two in the middle of the night huh
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I can behave normally around books
#shitpost#anyway guess who brought home 24 new books today?#if you guessed me. well. you would be correct#in my defense I only bought 5#for a combined total of usd#where’d the number go. it was 17 usd#the rest were from me going through what my dad was getting rid of for space and claiming it for myself#but either way#24 in one day is a personal record I think#also I do fully intend to read all of these it’s not hoarding for hoardings sake
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ladies, your 4th, 10th, and last most recent emojis describe your character's only personality traits in a movie written by a man
#😳🐈⬛🤣#in my defense...#'oh you have to see my cat'#*shows picture of cat*#'bwahaha isn't he hilarious?*
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Honestly, I love it when characters relapse. When someone who’s gotten over their anger issues falls into a situation so out of their depth they fall back on their old habits. When someone who’s learned to open up becomes a recluse again in order to cope with something outside their control.
There’s just something so horrible, so toxic, about watching a character grow and then slip back into their old selves in order to cope, bc you know they still care, that they’re the same inside, but watching them hurt so hard they don’t know what else to do brings a sense of catharsis.
#writeblr#writing#writers on tumblr#writing community#creative writing#my writing#fanfic#fanfiction#one of those tropes that has to be played carefully tho#it’s important to show them wresting with it#and realizing what they’re doing#but being so lost in their pain they don’t know what to do#show they’re contrary feelings and that they’re still the same inside#it’s just a defense mechanism#also don’t make it seem like a flick of a switch#a slow process of relapse and a slow process of recovery from it is also important#not a plot twist for the sake of it#or played for drama#but a legitimate change with real consequences#just yappin#writing prompts#writing tropes#writing stuff#writing characters#characters#character arcs#oc stuff#tropes#trope talk
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ghost stories are alarmingly easy to spread tbh
when I was like ten I was walking back from the chip shop near my gran's house with a neighbour and we took a short cut down an alley which was enclosed by garages except for one part which was wire fenced and led to the electricity shack
and while I was walking I chucked a chip over the fence. the girl walking with me, C, reasonably asks why I did that
"oh, don't you know?" I say, as if I'm not equally out of my own loop
she shakes her head. the enclosed alleyway has no streetlights. it's after dark. the shack is isolated in the distance.
"a little girl who lived up on the court climbed the fence once on a dare. she went up to the shack and touched it, but there was a wire sticking out, and when she touched it, she got electrocuted and died, right there. if you come back in the daylight, you can still see the black mark."
[editor's note: the court was the smaller road off the side of the crescent, which was the one C's family and my gran lived on. the houses there were slightly more expensive and newer, almost all occupied by wealthy commuters to the city, where most of the crescent houses were occupied by retirees and locals who worked on the trading estate. naturally, crescent kids hated the court. houses there got bricked about once a month.]
"no she didn't," C says
I made up this story for absolutely no reason and with no plan, but I'm not gonna back down now. "sure she did. and if you go past on your way back from the shops and you don't leave her an offering, she'll follow you home through the streetlights. one flickers behind you, then the next, then the next, until you get home. and then the lights start to flicker inside the house. even if you turn out all the electrics before bed, it'll be too late. she's inside. and you'll wake up on the night and see her, and she'll be so awful to see it'll stop your heart."
[editor's note: the streetlights always flickered. this was because our neighbour monkey george kept setting the junction boxes on fire]
"I never did before and she never followed me home!"
"do you come down the alley after dark? or do you take the main road with the streetlights?" I knew she didn't use the shortcut, because I'd been the one to talk her into it that night. she was three years younger than me and scared of the dark.
C claims not to believe me, but she throws a chip over the fence too, and walks the rest of the way looking over her shoulder. I get to pride myself for the night on being good at scary stories, and don't think much more about it.
fast forward six or seven years. I'm back in town. I'm on my way back from the chip shop, taking the same shortcut home. ahead of me on the road are a couple of kids I vaguely recognise as old playmates' younger siblings.
they stop, and I watch one fish out three sweeties from the pack they're sharing. they take one each and throw them over the fence. they carry on walking.
I realise that this is probably my fault, as are any resulting pest control issues around the old electricity shack.
when I get to the fence, I throw a chip over.
#in my defense C was a very gullible girl and I was a big fan of scary stories#I also spent several years convincing her I was secretly a vampire#and helped her sister convince her her room was haunted#it's not like I was the worst kid on that block monkey george was around#and there was that kid that used to chase cats around with peashooters
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you know you're in a special circle of tv hell when you start hypothesising that maybe it was written bad on purpose
#had the thought that maybe mrs flood/the governor was like chuck from spn and the writing was bad on purpose because she's a bad writer#that's how dire the situation is#in my defense they DID just do an episode where doctor who is a tv show in universe so.#doctor who
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drawing one mydei a day until he comes out - the fallen angel
#my art#honkai star rail#mydei#unironically thrilled that he gets stabbed and shot at in his trailer#let the immortal character take hits!!!#his arc is tied to phainon's in the end so he should have more onscreen suffering as a treat#i love characters that bear sm responsibility and puts themself as the first line of defense.......
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his smile and optimism…….gone………
#halflings being treated so horribly and being used as bait and him making a union so others dont get treated as badly as he did. ourgh#no wonder hes defensive and doesnt trust people. it makes me tear my hair out#my silly little rabbit…………#chilchuck tims#dunmeshi
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girls when they get new shoes:
fairy shrimp & tadpole shrimp
#fairy shrimp#tadpole shrimp#brine shrimp#crustacean#triops#gouache#traditional art#fairy shrimp ended up looking very anomalocarisy but in my defense#look at any macro shot of a fairy shrimp#sci art#my art
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I think it's super interesting how Jimmy's fear of Anya and the baby manifests in his mind as the Pony Express mascot.
Unlike every other character, Anya ISN'T in Jimmy's guilt/regret hallucinations near the end. He sees Daisuke walk towards the dark, he sees Swansea chase him through a cemetery, he sees Curly on fire in front of him but ANYA? Anya isn't given that kind of treatment. No, instead, we see a hallucination of the baby, a tiny horse in a womb that has no face attached to it (Anya's face specifically, all he sees is the womb), turning into a deformed monster that hunts him down the moment it's born.
Polle (the baby) is seen as a danger in Jimmy's head in the beginning of the game too, after he walks out of the cockpit. The more he walks, the louder the baby noises get and the more deformed Polle looks when he runs into it!
Jimmy doesn't give a damn about Anya, nor does he regret anything he did to her, but he is scared of that baby and what it means. The living proof of what he did to Anya, manifesting as a monster that hunts him down throughout the game.

#mouthwashing#Polle says: FACE THE CONSEQUENCES OF YOUR ACTIONS INSTEAD OF BEING DELUSIONAL!!#god please take all of Anya's pain.. double it and give it to Jimmy#this might be gibberish but in my defense it's 2 in the morning and I am very sleep deprived#mouthwashing jimmy#mouthwashing anya#mouthwashing curly#mouthwashing daisuke#mouthwashing swansea
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